A knock-knock joke is a tiny play for two people. One person knocks, the other answers, and for a few seconds everyone agrees to pretend there’s a door. The punch line is allowed to be ridiculous; that’s the arrangement.
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Easy knock-knock jokes to start with
For a first-time listener, try Lettuce or Boo before the interrupting cow. The cow needs someone who already knows the answering part.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in—it’s cold out here! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry! It’s only a joke. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh—
MOO! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Bless you! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nobel.
Nobel who?
No bell. That’s why I knocked. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Broken pencil.
Broken pencil who?
Never mind. It’s pointless. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks. I prefer peanuts.
Food jokes for the snack break
Lunchbox-note material, with no actual cooking required. On a folded note, put the punch line inside so the reader gets a chance to guess.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
Butter hurry—the toast is getting cold! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for? Open the door! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wafer.
Wafer who?
Wafer me! I’m coming too! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup! I’m already on the next joke. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nacho.
Nacho who?
Nacho ordinary joke. This one’s extra cheesy. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peas.
Peas who?
Peas save me a seat! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Honeydew.
Honeydew who?
Honeydew you want to hear another one? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Turnip.
Turnip who?
Turnip the music. This is a party! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Beets.
Beets who?
Beets me. I thought you knew who was coming. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time the roller coaster goes down the big hill! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Doughnut.
Doughnut who?
Doughnut worry. I brought enough snacks for everyone. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bean.
Bean who?
Bean waiting out here all morning! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Berry.
Berry who?
Berry nice to meet you! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pasta.
Pasta who?
Pasta salt, please. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Taco.
Taco who?
Taco ’bout good timing—it’s lunchtime!
Animal visitors at the door
The imaginary front porch is getting crowded. Give these visitors a voice, or let the animal names do the work.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howl.
Howl who?
Howl I ever get a nap with all this knocking? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alpaca.
Alpaca who?
Alpaca the snacks. You bring the blanket. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Iguana.
Iguana who?
Iguana see your new puppy! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Toucan.
Toucan who?
Toucan play this game, you know. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gopher.
Gopher who?
Gopher the popcorn. The movie’s starting! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ewe.
Ewe who?
Ewe-hoo! Over here, by the mailbox! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kanga.
Kanga who?
Actually, it’s kangaroo. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Whale.
Whale who?
Whale, that’s a lot of questions for one door. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Otter.
Otter who?
Otter be a law against jokes this silly! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Amos.
Amos who?
Amos-quito keeps following me. Let me in!
Name jokes to say out loud
Ordinary introductions become requests for cookies, directions, and a functioning key. Treat the name as perfectly normal until the punch line.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up! We’re going to miss the bus. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ida.
Ida who?
I didn’t know you were a state! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for dinner! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard I know? I can’t see through the door. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the peephole and find out. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita pencil. Mine rolled under the couch. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any cookies left, or did I miss dessert? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Heidi.
Heidi who?
Heidi the presents. It’s supposed to be a surprise! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie-body home? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Sadie.
Sadie who?
Sadie magic word and I’ll tell you. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah good place to get pancakes around here? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hugo.
Hugo who?
Hugo first. I’ll hold the door. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Claire.
Claire who?
Claire some space. This pizza box is enormous! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore is stuck. Can you push from your side? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wendy.
Wendy who?
Wendy get to eat cake? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mikey.
Mikey who?
Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gladys.
Gladys who?
Gladys Friday. This week felt a month long. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Iva.
Iva who?
Iva feeling you’ve heard this one before. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Al.
Al who?
Al give you three guesses, and the first two don’t count! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Philip.
Philip who?
Philip the bird feeder. The squirrels emptied it again!
Wordplay with places and everyday things
A radio, a canoe, and an accordion have all found the same door. It’s a very unusual neighborhood.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes a nice place you’ve got here. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Radio.
Radio who?
Radio not, here I come! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dozen.
Dozen who?
Dozen anybody know I’m out here? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Car go beep, beep! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tennis.
Tennis who?
Tennis five plus five. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alaska.
Alaska who?
Alaska my mom if I can stay for dinner. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wooden shoe.
Wooden shoe who?
Wooden shoe like to come out and play? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ear.
Ear who?
Ear you are! I’ve been looking everywhere. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hawaii.
Hawaii who?
Hawaii doing? I haven’t seen you in ages. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe help? My paddle floated away. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Yukon.
Yukon who?
Yukon open the door anytime now. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Accordion.
Accordion who?
Accordion to my map, I’m at the wrong house. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Police.
Police who?
Police stop knocking. The door’s already open! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Thermos.
Thermos who?
Thermos be an easier way to carry all this soup! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Yah.
Yah who?
Wow, you’re excited to see me!
Knock-knock jokes for grown-ups
Parking fees, assembly instructions, and a rare chance to sit down: the subjects lean grown-up, but every punch line stays family-friendly.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Atlas.
Atlas who?
Atlas, the kids are asleep. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Sofa.
Sofa who?
Sofa, so good. But it won’t fit through the door. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Watson.
Watson who?
Watson TV tonight? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hike.
Hike who?
Oh, we’re doing poetry now? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I’d call first, but my phone died. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Costa.
Costa who?
Costa fortune to park out here. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have to read the instructions, or can we guess? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wade.
Wade who?
Wade a minute. I just sat down. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Juno.
Juno who?
Juno where I put my car keys? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Avenue.
Avenue who?
Avenue got a minute to talk about your car’s extended warranty?
Birthday and holiday knock-knock jokes
Seasonal groaners for birthday cards, holiday calls, and the person who always volunteers to wrap the presents.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby birthday to you! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you. Happy Valentine’s Day! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Witches.
Witches who?
Witches the way to the costume party? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Elf.
Elf who?
Elf me wrap these presents. I’m all thumbs! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Mary Christmas! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda wish you a happy New Year! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Some bunny.
Some bunny who?
Some bunny forgot where they hid the Easter eggs! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow peeking at the presents! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Yule.
Yule who?
Yule never guess what’s in this enormous box! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Fangs.
Fangs who?
Fangs for the Halloween candy!
Jokes that break the knock-knock rules
The italicized lines are stage directions. Read them to yourself, then let a pause, a voice, or a missing knock do the work.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
(Pause. Then wait a little longer.)
Sloth.
Sloth who?
Still… getting… to… the… punch… line. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Echo.
Echo who?
(Repeat in a fading voice.)
Echo who? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
Actually, it’s “to whom.” - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Director.
Director wh—
Cut! Let’s take it again from the top. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Déjà.
Déjà who?
Knock, knock. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
Is there an owl in here? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Spell.
Spell who?
Okay: W-H-O. - Knock.
Who’s there?
Opportunity.
Opportunity who?
I only knock once. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A mime.
A mime who?
(Silently wave through the imaginary window.) - (Ask these two questions before knocking.)
Will you remember me in a minute?
Yes.
Will you remember me tomorrow?
Yes.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
You’ve forgotten me already!
How to tell a knock-knock joke aloud
The script gives you the words. Delivery gives the listener time to hear the trick—and, in the cow’s case, just enough time to start a sentence.
- Teach the answering part before you begin. A new listener needs two responses: “Who’s there?” and then the visitor’s name followed by “who?” Practice that exchange once if necessary. When a child wants to be the teller, take the answering role and let them finish, even if you recognize the joke after the first word.
- Let the setup sound ordinary. Say “Alpaca” as though an alpaca at the front door were perfectly reasonable. Pause for the question, then connect the sound to the rest of the punch line. A big wink before the listener answers can give away the turn before you’ve had a chance to make it.
- Choose puns that work in your voice. Sound-alikes depend on pronunciation. Harry and “hurry,” for example, may sound closer in one person’s accent than another’s. Read a joke aloud before choosing it for a performance. If getting the pun requires an unfamiliar pronunciation or a lengthy explanation, pick a different visitor rather than wrestling the word into place.
- Give interruptions a precise entrance. For the cow, begin the moo while your partner is starting “who,” not after they’ve finished the question. Keep it playful rather than startlingly loud. The Director joke uses the same early entrance, but a brisk, matter-of-fact “Cut!” gives it a different character.
- Use pauses on purpose. The sloth needs a delay; most of the other jokes don’t. Leave enough space for anticipation without making the listener wonder whether you’ve forgotten the words. With Banana, the printed repetitions establish the pattern. Adding ten more bananas is a separate entertainment decision, and your audience may have other plans.
- Leave room for the other person’s turn. One joke can be the whole performance. If your listener starts offering their own, trade roles instead of racing to the next entry. If they’re returning to a book or trying to finish dinner, let the imaginary door close. A theatrical groan isn’t automatically a request for twenty more.
How to make up your own knock-knock joke
There are several ways to build one: hide a phrase inside a word, give a literal answer to an unexpected question, or change the routine. Start with one trick rather than trying to fit all three into the same joke.
- Find a word with two possible hearings. Say names, foods, and everyday objects aloud. In this collection, “Alpaca” becomes “I’ll pack,” while “Atlas” becomes “at last.” Choose a word your listener already recognizes so the first meaning is clear before you switch to the second.
- Give the hidden phrase somewhere to go. Finish it with a recognizable situation: arriving at a party, carrying something awkward, or waiting for dessert. Aim for a line someone might actually say. One unexpected detail can help; a long account of the imaginary visitor’s entire afternoon will usually bury the pun.
- Check the listener’s exact line. Read the whole exchange, including the repeated name and “who?” Some jokes use that question as part of the trick: Cash turns the response into a food, while Spell turns it into a spelling request. Make sure your version works with the answer a listener will naturally give.
- Trim, then try it with a willing partner. Remove words between the pun and the payoff that don’t add anything funny. Read it at a normal speaking pace before adding voices or pauses. If the listener misses the sound-alike, ask which part was unclear and revise that part. A louder performance won’t repair a sentence that doesn’t quite fit.