82+ Hilarious Corny Jokes: Funny Stupid Humor

Whether you’re in need of a quick pick-me-up, a clever icebreaker, or simply a reason to share a hearty chuckle, these cheesy jokes can make kids and adults crack up and actually be funny. From the cheesiest one-liners to pun-tastic punchlines, these funny corny jokes will make you laugh so hard.

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Funny Corny Jokes

Why can’t you borrow money from elves? They’re always short.

What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

Why did the bike fall over? It was two tired.

Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don’t work.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

Why did the bank robber wash his clothes before escaping? He wanted to make a clean getaway.

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse.

What do you call a hat for your leg? Kneecap.

What did the policeman say to his belly button? You’re under a vest.

What do you call an automobile filled with water? A car-pool.

Why did the man get hit by a bike every day? He was stuck in a vicious cycle.

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How do trains listen? With their engine-ears.

What did the bartender say to the turkey sandwich when it tried to order a beer? “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

What goes up and down but never moves? Stairs.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.

How does a train eat? It choo-choos.

What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment.

How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.

Why do people say “break a leg” when you go on stage? Because every play has a cast.

What did one egg say to the other? You crack me up.

What do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator.

What’s a zucchini’s favorite sport? Squash.

What kind of ghost has the best hearing? The eeriest.

What’s a cucumber’s favorite sport? Pickleball.

How did the dead brother and his dead brother resemble each other? They were dead ringers.

Why do ghosts ride elevators? It lifts their spirits.

Why are there gates around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.

What did the envelope say to the stamp? Stick with me and you’ll go places.

Why did the girl jump up and down before pouring her juice? The carton said to “Shake well before drinking.”

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Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pen? Because it’s pointless.

A book fell on my head. I only have my-shelf to blame.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

Why don’t leopards play hide-and-seek? They’re always spotted.

Where can you buy soup in bulk? The stock market.

Why don’t ants get sick? They have anty-bodies.

If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes.

How do you put a spaceship to sleep? You rocket.

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

What do you need to cook an alligator? A croc-pot.

What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her? Namaste.

Cheesy Jokes

Why couldn’t the bike stand up? It was two-tired.

How do you tell if a vampire is sick? See if he is coffin.

What did the ocean say to the sad seaweed? Sea kelp.

What do you call fake spaghetti? An im-pasta.

Where does Wonder Woman go shopping? At the supermarket.

Why did the farmer win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

What kind of shoes do breadsticks wear? Loafers.

When do computers overheat? When they need to vent.

Why can’t noses be longer than 12 inches? Because they’d be a foot.

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.

What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me.

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Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.

Why did the boy throw a stick of butter out the window? He wanted to see a butterfly.

What do you call a factory that sells good products? A satis-factory.

What’s the best way to catch a school of fish? With bookworms.

How do you make a hotdog stand? Take away its chair.

What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes.

What do you call a duck on the Fourth of July? A fire-quacker.

What do sea monsters eat for dinner? Fish and ships.

What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh.

How do Eskimos repair broken dishes? With igloo.

How do rabbits travel? By hareplanes.

Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them.

What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup.

Why did the queen go to the dentist? To get crowns on her teeth.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What did Benjamin Franklin say after discovering electricity? I’m shocked!

How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

What did the earthquake say after it was over? Sorry, my fault!

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

Did you read the book about anti-gravity? You can’t put it down.

Have you heard about the corduroy pillow? It’s making headlines!

What do you call a sleeping cow? A bulldozer.

What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.

Did you hear about the spaghetti in disguise? It’s an impasta.

What was the frog’s job at the hotel? Bellhop.

What do you call cheese that belongs to someone else? Nacho cheese.

What do cows most like to read? Cattle-logs.

What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap.

Why did the photo go to jail? Because it was framed.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It felt crumby.