Funniest jokes for kids will crack up your child. These family-friendly, funny and clean jokes are guaranteed to make kids laugh and create fun moments for both kids and adults. From puns, witty one-liners and clever riddles to kid-friendly humor, hilarious jokes for kids will brighten up your day and spread laughter all around. Get ready for non-stop giggles, laughter, and fun!
Table of Contents
Funniest Jokes for Kids
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
Dill with it.
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards?
They were going through a stage!
What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock.
How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize?
He was outstanding in his field!
What did one toilet say to the other?
You look a bit flushed.
What do you think of that new diner on the moon?
Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.
Why are peppers the best at archery?
Because they habanero!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.
Why can’t Elsa from Frozen have a balloon?
Because she will “let it go, let it go.”
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick?
Put it on my bill!
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school.
Why did an old man fall in a well?
Because he couldn’t see that well!
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
Where would you find an elephant?
The same place you lost her.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.
What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts.
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon?
“I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints.
How are false teeth like stars?
They come out at night.
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow?
It is either one or the udder!
What do you call a little legume?
A Tinybean.
What building in your town has the most stories?
The public library.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
What’s red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint!
What is a computer’s favorite snack?
Computer chips.
What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow.
What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?
Twister.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?
That hit the spot.
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 detour.
What did the microwave say to the other microwave?
Is it just me? Or is it really hot in here?
Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Very Best Jokes For Kids
Why can’t you send a duck to space?
Because the bill would be astronomical!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he felt crummy.
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?
He puts his PJ-Amazon!
Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Because her mom and dad were in a jam.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting pirate.
Interrupting pir—yarrrrrr!
What happened when the world’s tongue-twister champion got arrested?
They gave him a tough sentence!
How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Icy.
Icy who?
Icy you trying not to laugh at my knock-knock joke!
What did the mama cow say to the calf?
It’s pasture bedtime!
Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
What kind of lion doesn’t roar?
A dandelion.
How does a vampire start a letter?
Tomb it may concern!
What kind of water can’t freeze?
Hot water.
When does a joke become a “dad” joke?
When the punchline is a parent.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad!
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.
What do you call a dinosaur fart?
A blast from the past.
What did one plate say to the other?
Dinner is on me!
What is fast, loud and crunchy?
A rocket chip.
What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don’t take me for granite!
Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they don’t know the words!
What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday?
Hoppy Birthday.
What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?
A wise quacker.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast!
What’s the one thing will you get every year on your birthday, guaranteed?
A year older.
Which is faster? Hot or cold?
Hot. You can easily catch a cold.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Weekend.
Weekend who?
Weekend do anything we want!
Yo Mama so small her best friend is an ant.
Hilarious Jokes for Kids
Why can’t you trust an atom?
They make up everything.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, I’ve been knocking forever!
What did the ocean say to the pirate?
Nothing, it just waved.
What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
Where is pop corn?
What’s a piece of bread’s least favorite chore?
Doing a loaf of laundry.
Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis!
What did the bunny say to the carrot?
It’s been nice gnawing you!
What is a cat’s favorite color?
Purrr-ple.
What animal is always at a baseball game?
A bat.
Why did the robber take a bath before he left the scene of the crime?
He wanted to make a clean getaway!
What song does a cat like best?
Three Blind Mice.
How do baby cats learn how to swim?
The kitty pool.
Why does it take pirates a long time to learn the alphabet?
Because they can spend years at C!
Why didn’t the skeleton go to school?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
It smells like carrots over here!
What is a monster’s favorite dessert?
I scream.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner!
Can a turkey jump higher than Mount Everest?
Yes, because a building can’t jump at all.
Why did the kid throw his clock out the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly!
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do you call a huge pile of cats?
A meow-ntain!
What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
Because he was a little shellfish!
How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself?
With a hare dryer.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball!
How does a snowman lose weight?
He waits for the weather to get warmer.
What does a rain cloud wear under its clothes?
Thunderwear!
Why did the robber jump in the shower?
He wanted to make a clean getaway.
Why do vampires seem sick all the time?
Because they’re always coffin!
What kind of shoes do robbers wear?
Sneakers.
How do you get an astronaut’s baby to stop crying?
You rocket!
What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
Funny Kids’ Jokes about Math
How come no one picks statistics as their favorite subject?
It’s just average.
Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?
Because it had more cents.
Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated?
Because it’s never right.
Why did two 4s skip dinner?
Because they already 8!
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine.
Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because he wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!
Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems!
How do you stay warm in any room?
Go to the corner—it’s always 90 degrees.
Why was the fraction nervous about marrying the decimal?
Because he would have to convert.
What did the triangle feel sorry for the circle?
Because it’s pointless!
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you count Dracula.
What do you call two guys who love math?
Algebros!
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there’s no point.
Did you hear about the rancher who had 97 cows in his field?When he rounded them up, he had 100!
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
Because his parents wouldn’t cosine!
What do you call a number that can’t stay in one place?
A roamin’ numeral!
What do you get when you divide a Jack o’ lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi!
Why should you never trust someone writing on graph paper?
Because they must be plotting something!
Funny Animal Kids Jokes
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice Crispies!
Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?
She was a little horse.
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant!
What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon.
Why don’t elephants chew gum?
They do, just not in public.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with shellfish?
An oyster bunny!
What did the banana say to the dog?
Bananas can’t talk.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank!
How do you fit more pigs on a farm?
Build a sty-scraper.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer.
Why did the pony get sent to his room?
He wouldn’t stop horsing around!
What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
An udder failure.
What kind of dog does a magician have?
A Labracadabrador!
What do you call a cow that won’t give milk?
A milk dud.
Where do cows go on Friday nights?
They go to the moo-vies!
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Why couldn’t the pony sing “Happy Birthday?”
Because she was just a little hoarse!
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles!
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Ouch!
How do you keep a bull from charging?
Take away its credit card!
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.
Why can’t a leopard hide?
Because he’s always spotted!
Funny Random Jokes for Kids
Why are ghosts bad liars?
Because you can see right through them!
When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?
Because when you find it, you stop looking.
Why are spiders so smart?
They can find everything on the web!
What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield.
What are mummies’ favorite lunches?
Wraps!
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore.
How does Darth Vader like his toast?
On the dark side!
Why do candles always go on the top of cakes?
Because it’s hard to light them from the bottom.
Why are mountains so funny?
They’re just hill areas!
How can you tell a vampire has a cold?
She starts coffin.
What goes up but never comes down?
Your age.
What is the Easter bunny’s favorite type of music?
Hip-hop!
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
All they ever said was, “Bach, Bach, Bach!”
What do cakes and baseball teams have in common?
They both need a good batter.
Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex?
Because they were watchdogs!
Yo Mama so old her memory is in black and white.
Why is grass so dangerous?
Because it’s full of blades!
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
About a buck an ear.
What did the teacher say when a book fell on their head?
I have only my shelf to blame.
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives.
How do they keep the basketball arena cool?
They fill it with fans!
What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you?
One is a cat copy; the other is a copy cat.
What does a book do to keep warm in the winter?
It puts on a jacket!
What kind of music do mummies love?
Wrap music.
What did the lightbulb say to its sweetheart?
I wuv you a watt!
What room does a ghost not need?
A living room.
What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish!
What is an astronaut’s favorite button on a keyboard?
The spacebar.
What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a cod, any cod!
What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A blood hound.
Why did the picture go to prison?
Because it was framed!
Yo Mama so old she rode dinosaurs to school.
Why do bicycles fall over?
Because they’re two-tired!
Why did the little girl hit her birthday cake with a hammer?
It was a pound cake.
If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over the bay?
A bagel!
How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?
When it’s full.
What does the ocean do when it sees its friends?
It waves!
What fruit has to put on sunscreen at the beach?
Bananas – because they peel.
What did the cat say when it fell down the stairs?
Me-ow!
What do you cakes and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter!
Where do pencils come from?
Pennsylvania!
What falls at the North Pole and never gets hurt?
Snow.
Why can’t you tell a joke to an egg?
It might crack up!
Does a green candle burn longer than a pink one?
No, they both burn shorter.
What do you call a dinosaur that wears glasses?
Tyrannosaurus Specs
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
Just look for the gray hares.
What do you call a line of rabbits jumping backwards?
A receding hare-line!
Why does Santa work at the North Pole?
Because the penguins kicked him out of the South Pole.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
How did the pirate get his flag so cheaply?
He bought it on sail.
