Funny happy birthday jokes will light up this special day with laughter and giggles. Remember that birthdays are about sharing joy and creating unforgettable memories. And the funniest, quirkiest, and downright silliest birthday jokes will leave you grinning from ear to ear.
Whether you’re celebrating your own birthday, surprising a loved one, or just in the mood for a good laugh, best birthday jokes one-liners help you spread some birthday cheer like never before. Get your chuckles ready and spread humor in the best way possible.
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Funny Birthday Jokes
Did you hear about the tree’s birthday party?
Things got pretty sappy!
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
What does a clam do on his birthday?
Forget about the past, you can’t change it.
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it.
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
What kind of music is scary for birthday balloons?
What did the elephant want for his birthday?
A trunk full of gifts.
Why do some people get heartburn every time they eat birthday cake?
They always forget to take off the candles.
What do you say to your goldfish on his birthday?
Have a fin-tastic day.
What does it mean if no one shows up to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it, too
Why did the birthday cake visit the psychologist?
Because it was feeling crumby.
What do monsters serve at their birthday parties?
I scream cake.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When you slice it.
Why are birthdays good for your health?
Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays actually live longer.
What did the teddy bear say when it was offered some birthday cake?
No thanks, I’m stuffed.
What’s something you get for your birthday every year, aside from cake and presents?
Another year older.
What kind of birthday cake do you get for a coffee lover?
Did you hear about the birthday candle sale?
It was a big blowout!
What goes up and never comes down?
Why did the birthday girl feel so warm at her birthday party?
People kept toasting her!
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Cake and mice cream.
Why did the boy soap as a birthday present?
Because it was a soaprize party!
How did Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?
He had a whale of a time.
Why is it a good idea to become friends with babies?
It means you’ll get free cake once a year on their birthday for the rest of your life.
Where do you get a birthday present for your cat?
From a cat-alogue.
How come you didn’t get me a birthday present?
You did say I should surprise you, right?
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
How do pickles celebrate their birthdays?
They relish the moment.
What kind of birthday cake do ghosts like?
I scream cake.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake.
What’s the fanciest kind of birthday party you can throw for a dog?
What do you get a hunter as a birthday present?
A birthday pheasant.
The older you get, the more you need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake.
Getting old is inevitable, so you might enjoy birthday wishes for myself for your extra festive day, from funny things to inspirational quotes.
Short Birthday Jokes
Why was the birthday cake hard as a rock?
It was a marble cake.
What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
They were all born on holidays.
Why did the woman celebrate her birthday for only 30 seconds?
It was her 32nd birthday.
I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
What should you give a dragon for its birthday?
I’m not sure, but you’d better hope he’ll like it!
What did the bald guy say when he was given a comb for his birthday?
Thanks, I’ll never part with it.
Why do all of my relatives keep reminding me how old I am on my birthday?
Because age is a relative thing.
Why couldn’t the pony sing happy birthday?
She was feeling a little hoarse.
If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up, remember… You can always change your birthday on Facebook!
You can’t help getting older but you don’t have to get old. George Burns
What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday?
What’s the best way to remember your wife’s birthday?
Forget it once.
Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles: Do your job.
We put only a single candle on your cake, as we didn’t want you to strain your lungs.
Why is a birthday cake like playing baseball?
They both need batters.
If you’re going to take a nap at this age, let us know—we wouldn’t want to bury you by accident. Deepak Kashyap
How can you tell if a birthday cake is sad?
If it’s in tiers.
At your age having a clear conscience is usually a sign of bad memory. Steven Wright
What did the cake say to the birthday girl?
You wanna piece of me?
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. Woody Allen
What is no cat birthday party complete without?
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. Billy Crystal
Why does the room get brighter on your birthday every year?
All of the candles on your birthday cake light things up!
What do you call a sick birthday cake?
Why didn’t anyone say happy birthday to the owl?
Because it didn’t give a hoot.
What did the birthday balloon say to the safety pin?
What did the fork ask the sad birthday cake?
“What’s eating you up?”
Why couldn’t the knot go to the birthday party?
It was all tied up.
Why do kangaroos celebrate their birthdays once every four years?
They only get to celebrate them on leap years.
What kind of birthday cake is hard as a rock?
What did one spouse say to the other when they started doing dishes on their birthday?
“You really don’t have to do the dishes on your birthday! You can just do them tomorrow.”
What kind of candle burns longer than others?
None, silly — they all burn shorter.
Whether you’re looking for a funny birthday joke to write in a card or want to text, this list of happy birthday handsome will help you celebrate the occasion in the best way possible.
Hilarious Birthday Jokes
Why don’t kids remember much about their past birthday parties?
They’re too focused on the present.
What famous people were born on your birthday?
None — they were all just babies!
What did the horse wish for on its birthday?
A stable economy.
Where can you go to study birthday treats?
Why did the birthday boy smash his cake with a hammer?
Because it was a pound cake.
What do you say to a bunny on its birthday?
Hoppy birthday to you.
Does one type of birthday candle burn longer than another?
No, they all burn shorter.
How do you know if a birthday cake is sad?
Look for the tiers.
Why do candles have such a good time at birthday parties?
They love getting lit!
How is a birthday cake like baseball?
Both need batters.
What did the hippie to her birthday party guests while she was serving cake?
May piece be with you.
Why do we put candles on top of birthday cakes?
Because it doesn’t work to put them on the bottom.
Which side is the left side of a birthday cake?
The side that hasn’t been eaten yet.
What will you do if no one comes to your birthday party?
You’ll have your cake and eat it, too.
What did one candle say to the other?
Don’t birthdays just light you up?
Why was the pig in the kitchen on its birthday?
He was bacon himself a birthday cake.
What does an oyster do on its birthday?
Was anyone famous born on your birthday?
No, just a bunch of babies.
What happens when thieves crash a birthday party?
They take the cake.
Why do people put candles on top of birthday cakes?
Because you can’t put them on the bottom.
What kind of music do balloons fear?
Why couldn’t the science teacher come up with a good birthday joke?
Because all of the good ones Argon.
What can you do if you get heartburn from birthday cake?
Take off the candles before you eat it next time.
Why was the soccer player upset on his birthday?
Someone gave him a red card.
What do you sing to a cow on its birthday?
Happy birthday to moo!
What happens when a husband asks his wife for a Segway as his birthday present?
She just changes the topic.
Why do candles love birthdays?
They like to get lit.
Why do tennis balls whisper happy birthday to each other?
They don’t want to make a racquet.
What’s a bee’s favorite day of the year?
Did you hear what happened between sugar and cream at the birthday party?
It was the icing on the cake.
What is Elsa from Frozen’s favorite part of a birthday cake?
Where do kids get ice cream cakes on their birthday?
At sundae school.
These happy birthday beautiful wishes will make her big day that much more special.
Funniest Happy Birthday Jokes
Why does the mushroom always get invited to birthday parties?
He’s a fun guy.
How do you know when you’re officially old?
When it takes longer to rest than it did to get tired. Happy birthday!
Did Moby Dick enjoy his birthday?
Oh yes — he had a whale of a time.
What does every birthday end with?
The letter Y.
What did one candle say to the other?
“Birthdays just burn me up.”
Why should you put your birthday cake in the freezer before the party?
To give it more ice-ing.
What didn’t the teddy bear eat cake on its birthday?
He was already stuffed!
What did the snowman say to the birthday girl?
Have an ice day!
Why did the bakery get robbed?
Robbers heard the cakes were rich.
What do cats like to eat with their birthday cakes?
What birthday present is guaranteed to make anyone’s face light up?
A light bulb.
What should you say if someone gives you dirt or sand on your birthday?
“I appreciate the sediment.”
What kind of cake do you eat if your birthday’s on Halloween?
I scream cake.
Why couldn’t the knot go to his friend’s birthday party?
He was all tied up.
Why were there balloons in the bathroom?
For the birthday potty.
How old was the caveman on his birthday?
Why do kids always forget their past birthday parties?
Because they’re so focused on the present.
Why did the cupcake go to the doctor?
It was feeling crumby.
Did you hear about the sale on birthday candles?
It’s a blowout.
What kind of birthday cake will you find in the garbage?
How was the birthday party for the fish?
It went swimmingly.
What did the ocean say on its birthday?
Nothing — it just waved.
What is Moby Dick’s favorite way to celebrate his birthday?
By having a whale of a party.
Did you hear about the risk behind birthdays?
Yeah, too many can kill you.
What’s a sure sign you’re getting older?
When you and your teeth don’t sleep together.
Why did the birthday girl hit her cake with a hammer?
Because it was pound cake.
What did one lion say to the other on its birthday?
Yay, it’s roar birthday!
Why did the student eat his homework on his birthday?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
What song do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What did the boy say when his parents hired a clown for his birthday party?
Thanks, I really appreciate the jester.
What did the cake say to the ice cream?
“I think you’re cool.”
Where can you find the best birthday present ideas for cats?
What will happen if you invite a thief to your birthday party?
They will take the cake!
These funny 50th birthday quotes will add some lighthearted fun to their celebration.